When planning your wedding, there are a lot of big decisions—venue, dress, guest count—but sometimes, it’s the smaller choices that catch couples off guard. One of those is whether or not to allow speeches during the reception.
Some couples love the idea of heartfelt toasts and shared stories. Others want to keep the night moving without any interruptions. If you’re torn, this guide will help you weigh the pros and cons. Plus, if you do decide to include speeches, I’ll share some tips to make sure they’re well-managed and don’t take away from the flow of the night.
3 Reasons to Include Speeches on Your Wedding Day
1. They Add Heart and Personality to the Night
A great speech brings emotion, humor, and a personal touch to your wedding. The best ones feel like mini love letters—not just to you, but to the story you share as a couple. These moments often become some of the most cherished parts of the night, and they’re always incredible to capture in both photo and video.
2. They Give Loved Ones a Chance to Participate
Your wedding is about more than just the two of you—it’s also about the people who have shaped your journey. Giving parents, siblings, or close friends a chance to speak can be a meaningful way to involve them in the celebration.
3. They Can Create Lasting Memories
Some of the best wedding moments happen during speeches. Maybe your best friend shares a hilarious inside joke, or your father-in-law says something that hits right in the heart. These are moments that stick with you—and that you’ll love looking back on later.
3 Reasons to Skip Speeches Altogether
1. They Can Disrupt the Flow of the Reception
A reception should feel seamless, and sometimes, speeches can break the momentum—especially if they go on too long or aren’t well-timed. If you want the night to feel more like a party, skipping speeches can help keep the energy up.
2. Not Everyone Is a Great Public Speaker
While some people give beautiful, thoughtful toasts, others… don’t. Whether it’s nerves, rambling, or an unplanned speech from an overenthusiastic guest, not every toast lands the way you hope. If you’re worried about this, you might prefer to skip them altogether.
3. You Want to Keep the Focus on the Celebration
Some couples feel that speeches make the night about the people talking rather than about the couple getting married. If you’d rather keep the attention on the experience—great food, dancing, and celebrating together—then skipping speeches might be the way to go.
Bonus: If You Decide to Allow Speeches, Here’s How to Keep Them Under Control
Limit the Number of Speakers
Stick to just 2-4 speakers. A couple of short, well-planned toasts are far more memorable than an endless lineup of people grabbing the mic. Typically, the best speakers are parents, the best man, and the maid of honor—but it’s your call!
Set Time Limits
Ask each speaker to keep it between 3-4 minutes. Anything longer can start to feel like a TED Talk rather than a toast. Let them know ahead of time so they can prepare something short, sweet, and meaningful.
Vet the List in Advance
Make sure you know who’s speaking. This isn’t an open mic night, and you don’t want any surprises—especially from guests who may have had a little too much to drink. Your DJ or MC can help ensure that only pre-approved speakers take the mic.
Schedule Them Between Key Moments—Not During Dinner
The best time for speeches is when guests are naturally attentive but not distracted. Avoid scheduling them during dinner—people will be focused on eating, there will be constant clinking of plates, and overall engagement will be lower. Instead, consider these timing options:
Right after entrances, before the first course is served – Everyone is seated, the excitement is high, and the focus is still on the newlyweds.
After dinner but before dancing begins – This gives guests a moment to settle before the party officially kicks off.
Keeping speeches out of dinner service ensures they get the attention they deserve without feeling like an interruption.
Final Thoughts
At the end of the day, whether or not to include speeches is entirely up to you. If you love the idea of hearing heartfelt words from your closest people, go for it. If you’d rather keep things moving and avoid the unpredictability, that’s completely valid too.
Either way, make sure the choice reflects what you and your partner truly want—not just what’s expected.
If you’re still piecing together your wedding timeline and want to make sure everything runs smoothly—including speeches—I’d love to help. Fill out the contact form below if you’re looking for photography or videography, and let’s talk about how we can capture your day in a way that feels right for you.